No easy task, there. This usually happens gradually over many chapters. Two steps forward. One step back. There are any number of reasons for characters to show or give respect.
But in order to show the evolution of respect, you have to first establish the absense of respect.
This is fairly easy to do when you have a first meet in a novel. The characters don't really know each other. They have little or no reason to offer kudos on anything. That's why it's important to draw them in to a situation which requires action in practice or in theory.
Find a scene which requires your characters to work together at a task. Not just any task but something which will show how they differ in opinions or morality. They must each have a stake or personal belief which comes in to question.
Maybe it's something as simple as washing the dog, who knows?
Let's say the dog is dirty and shaggy with maybe a few mats. Whatever. The point is, the hero believes the dog's mats have to be cut off before the dog can be washed. The heroine believes exactly the opposite; clean the dog then cut the mats.
Sounds simple? Then we have to do better! grin
Let's say the hero is a dog bounty hunter. He sees the dog as a pay day. He doesn't believe every dog has to be rescued(unlike the herione). He's simply here to do a job and shaving the mats will answer the question of whether or not he's found the right dog. Washing is optional.
The heroine is a vet who believes, whether the dog is worth a little or a lot, it deserves to be shaved, cleaned and fed, along with a safe place to sleep. She tells our hero why his attitude is wrong, inspiring the hero's guilt at his own callousness. (*Self-analyzation makes him open to change. She mirrors his former self-the one who cared about the dogs he found.)
While the heroine truly believes everything she's espousing, she hears what the hero says about focusing on the bottom line. This causes her own inner-analyzation and sparks her own begrudging respect of his good business sense. (*An area which she knows she's lacking). If she'd spent a little more time finding paying customers she wouldn't be in danger of losing her business.
Her Dog Rescue operation is operating on a shoestring and she's behind on the building's rent. Shaving the mats will get her a little of what she needs but convincing the bounty hunter to pay for a bath, shave, food and a night's stay will get her a lot closer. She agrees to do it his way but charges him an outrageous fee.
The hero realizes she's taken his advice about her financial situation. (She's given him a meager portion of respect.) Because of this turnaround, he allows her to part him from his money and springs for the works. He respects her because she's operating a worthy cause and she's willing to listen and implement his ideas.
Now that they respect each other (to a degree) each is more willing to trust the other with deeper opinions and emotions. But to do that, you have to find a way to keep the hero and herione together for an extended period.
That's Part 2. Stay tuned!
