Survivor . . .

I don't watch the show. Or don't anymore. TV time is moderated b/c my schedule is crazy. So, I usually pick one night. It happens to be Thursdays for the awesome dialogue on Grey's Anatomy. But, I digress.

This week, I'm a survivor.

X2!

First, because I'm managing to make it through the revision hell of my manuscript. Without pulling out my hair or alienating my family with my intensity. :/

Second, because I didn't shed a single tear on March 25th.

I entered a writing contest a few months ago. I really wanted to final. But I didn't. I've entered this contest year after year after year. I've had really good scores. But, still . . . no final.

It's heartbreaking. But not this year. This year, whether I finalled or not, I knew the outcome would not detract from the hard work I'd put in, or the calibre of writing I'm putting out. I know I'm a good writer.

No, I haven't sold. I'm still looking for an agent. But, I know I will sell. And I'm proud of myself because I've finally managed to distance myself from the projects I write. Writing is so subjective. Finals are a crap shoot.

I have no control over judges likes or dislikes. I can only write the best book I know how to write, right now. At this moment. And I feel that's what I did. So, I'm not sad. Disappointed, yes. But, I'm a survivor.